Mom was so happy Chester was okay (excuse me while I GAG) that she stopped at the Three Dog Bakery to buy us some Peanut Brindle and get Chester a pup cake.***
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Chester is a Big Fat F-ing Faker
So last week I was real freakin' POed cuz Mom put me in the bedroom and then took Chester on a secret adventure. When he came back I naturally welcomed him home by charging and tackling him, however I stopped mid-leap. Because Chester had the stench of one terrifying place: The Echo Park Animal Hopsital.
Later I heard Mom on the phone to Dad saying that Chester had an umbilical hernia because his dumbass first mom had bitten off his umbilical cord too close to his (substantial) gut. So the other day Mom brought Chester over to Becca's at 6 in the freaking morning (she whined all day about this point) so that Becca could take him to her Beverly Hills vet office for the surgery.
Imagine my surprise (okay, fine, disappointment) when Chester returned home without any stupid looking stitches and with his same tard expression (rather than the drug-induced stupor I'd been anticipating I mean dreading...).
It turns out Chester was FINE TO BEGIN WITH. Needless to say, Mom was expressing her disapproval (what else is new?) with the Echo Park vet for misdiagnosing Chester. BUT she was very happy to save herself $400 which she will probably spend on food for her fat face.
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Dear Sweet Cholo,
ReplyDeleteWhat Chester has pulled is a move I like to call the "Fake and Bake". I have faked a lethargic state, which is actually my natural being, a number of times on my mother, to make her think that something is wrong, when in FACT, the only thing that is wrong was that I did not have a piece of a certain baked treat she was consuming.
My congratulations to you Chester on a job well done. Live and Learn Sweet Cholo, Live and Learn.
Y