Last weekend there was a knock at the door. I thought it might be a friend. Like Andre. Or Ari and Holly. Or Roberta. But instead...
It was YANKEE.
F me.
Yankee is such a friggin barbarian he PISSED by his own food bowl. Twice.
I tried to avoid him at all costs.
But I found myself unable to take my eyes off of him. If I took my guard down who knows what f-ed up shit that fat bastard could be capable of.
Finally Peluso picked up his retarded kid and me and Chester and Marcello sighed in relief...
Until JENNA showed up this weekend!!And that is why I do not understand if Jesus died for our sins, why the F am I still suffering?
Isn't Yankee better than A CAT? lol
ReplyDeleteno.
ReplyDeleteHe peed in his own bowl, twice...Maybe you need to spend more time with Yankee and teach hime some manners...
ReplyDeleteyo. it's not that it's bad manners to piss in your bowl, it's just that it's RETARDED. even that tard chester doesn't do that. although he did get in trouble the other night for eating shit -- AGAIN.
ReplyDeleteHow can you not even say a word about how Jenna is a little bit better than Yankee? Come on, she would never piss by her bowl (all over the sidewalk with lovely grass next to it, definitely), she breathes normally (except when you look at her and she needs to make her ugly face or else you'll come lick her in the face) and she's BEAUTIFUL.
ReplyDeleteI guess next time she comes over, she'll have to piss near your bowl.
Let me respond please. First of all Stella, when you are treated like a barbarian you must in turn survive like a Barbarian. Little do you know that dog food, while not as delicious as a fine rare Prime Rib from the Outback, is dangerous to serve outdoors, where ants (like Marcello) and other creatures (like Jenna) may get to it. You may like shit in your food (like Chester), but I certainly do not which is why I felt it necessary to construct a moat of urine to protect my precious protein. Mission Accomplished!
ReplyDeleteAnd I met Jenna once or twice, she reminded of this salad bar dad took me to once in Pomona, not really too much to offer for the Yankee Pupz.
Goodnight sweet Cholo, although I despise you, I certainly love your toys.
By the way Stella, this Jesus you speak of... I know him, he is alive and well. He cleaned up an Extra Stuffed Carne Asada Burrito I had the other day at the Yucca Taco stand on Hillhurst.
ReplyDelete