Today was a big day for my bad-ass football team, Da Raiders. Dad and Chester took a break from rooting for their fagtastic team to psych me up before the pick.
Yeah! Darrius Heyward-Bey!
(And F you if you think we shoulda gone with Crabtree. Far as I'm concerned that bitch can swim his ass across da bay.)
Dear Stella. Having chewed a few footballs in my day I feel qualified to tell you that DHB, as his homeys call him, was by far and away one of the worst draft management decisions in the history of football.
ReplyDeleteIt is so bad, I was inspired to come up with 3 equally bad decisions:
1. Petite Filet Mignon. Why petitefy anything so juicy and delicious? I blame the French.
2. Organic Food Movement. More fruits and vegetables = more frustrations.
3. Vegetarianism and Veganism. If God wanted us to eat only fruits and vegetables he wouldn't have given us dinosaurs, cows, or texas.
B-E-E-F BEEF!-BEEF!-BEEF!
Yo Yankee. You worried about the swine flu? Just wondering. Peace.
ReplyDeleteStella lucky for all of us I have eaten so much pork product (even a live pig once) that I am completely immune to swine flu, matter of fact I'm kosher as well.
ReplyDeleteBy the way what are we doing for Cinco De Mayo? I am thinking a rump roast bathed in salt and corona.
Yankee. Clearly your sense of humor is not refined enough to identify sarcasm. You ARE the swine. JEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!
ReplyDeleteAlso, this cinco de mayo I will be celebrating MY chola cultura. If you show up, I CUT YOU GRINGO!