Freakin' Typical.

So for the past, like, two years, one of mom's backseat seatbelt buckles be broken.  Naturally, I could give two shits about it cuz Stella don't use no loser safety harness -- messes up my hair, fool!  But ob-vosly I heard fat mouth mom being real annoyin' about the seats whenever there was extra peeps in the car.  She was all, Oh, you gotta sit behind me cuz the other seat don't work blah blah where's my soda blah blah.  Sometime she just leave it at that n I be like, aight, whatever, let's just go to Griffith JEEZ.  But other times, mom would keep on talking n she be like, Yeah, the dogs broke it.  UH, WHAT?  Or even more oftener she be like, Stella broke it from walking on it and gettin' her fur stuck in it.

UMMMM, Imma be ready to walk all over yo face for talkin' shit 'bout my ass!

Anyways, last week mom finally decides to do somethin' bout da broken belt 'n so she call up da dealership n tell these fools 'bout me 'pposedly breakin' her stupid seat.  N the dealership folks says, Yeah, that shit would cost bout around 200 dollars.  ('N Mom gives me a dirty ass look like the kinda look she give dad when he cuts a big ole butt burp and says What am I sposed to hold it in n get a stomach ache!?.)  But da dealership folks wasn't done.  They also said Yo, bitch.  You got a freakin' recall out for yo car!  N Mom was like, Oh.  Cuz like all these notices had come to da house but mom had thrown em away cuz she gets all crazy about clutter 'n throws away mostly Dad's stuff but sometimes other stuff too. 

And then Mom says, Well, uh, I guess I better take in the car n shit.  But I ain't payin' for no seatbelt cuz I suck 'n I don't have 200 to spend on nothin' 'cept food and beers 'n gigantic pumpkins.  And the dealership folks was like, Uh, ok.  Well, we can take a look at yo broken ass seatbelt when you finally get yo ass to the dealership to deal with da problem we tole you about like 8 times over the last 2, maybe even 3 years.

So psycho mom told dad  I gotta go to the dealership so you need to go home and walk the dogs and I won't tell you if they pooped this morning they have to go around the block anyway.  And the dealership folks did the recall work AND they fixed her seatbelt.

And the worker guy told Mom, There was cracker crumbs stuck in the buckle.

YUP.  That's what he done said.  Wasn't no fur.  Wasn't broken from my skinnier-than-Mom-been-since-she-was-like-born-pretty-much ass walkin' on the seat.  Nope, it was cracker crumbs.  'N take one freakin' guess who DON'T eat no crackers?  THIS BITCH. 

Freakin' typical.