So, every morning it's like the same freakin' thing. Mom takes me 'n Huge Bunghole around da block for what she calls our "Morning Walk" 'n what I call "Not Enough, Never Enough." 'N there always comes the time in the walk when Mom starts with her "Come on, Stella. Business, Stella. Come on, Stella. Don't you want to poo?" First off, OF COURSE I FREAKIN' WANT TO POO. Poo-in' is the freakin best and obviously I know it. But(t) I gotta work it out, ya know? I gotta stretch. I gotta sniff that empty bag of chips. I gotta gnaw Chester's neck while he tryin' to cross the street. Don't rush this shit!
What really annoy me as much as Chester's face (wait, I just took another look at that mo-fo. He is definitely more annoying but still), is how frustrated Morning Breath Mom get when the walk is endin' I ain't done the doody. Suddenly Mom is all "Stella. Please. Please poo. Are you about t-- what are you-- just a SNIFF?? Come ON, Stella!" Guess what, fool? Hearing Mom get all stupid and annoyed about Stella not pooping, makes this bitch REALLY not wanna poo. What if I told Mom she couldn't leave for work til she did her BUSINESS (her stupid word, not mine, homie!)? You think she'd be able to drop everything 'n push out last night's dinner plus seconds plus scrapings from the bottom of the pan? NO. No I don't freakin' think so.
Here's all you gotta do to get this bitch to poo: Take me on a longer freakin' walk!!! Or face da freakin' consequences that sometime you just ain't gonna get no poo outta this Echo Park chola.
'Course I could just do like Chesturd did the other day n poo right in the hall while Mom was puttin' on her shirt to take us out. It's like his asshole starts to open as soon as Mom's alarm go off. Annoying. But sorta refreshing too.
Peace, honkies.
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