Unsung Hero

Yesterday me and mom and ass-face chester were planning to go for a big awesome hike with enjoli and oscar and tux, a dog who is kind of cool despite his stupid name.

Anyways, we were all out, headin' to mom's car when that putz tux dropped a deuce. enjoli, in a rare moment of generosity, decided to pick it up instead of leaving it for the enjoyment of the community like she usually does. And mom was so surprised that she offered to hold onto tuxes leash while enjoli squatted for the turd.

But what mom didn't know is that when she took tux she weakened her gringa grasp on my leash and what she also didn't know was that a motorcycle was speeding down Glendale Blvd...

And what many of YOU dont know is that i am a vigil-fucking-ante. I protect my mom and other bitches like dad from any shit that might go down. And i could tell by the revving of this mf's engine that whoever was driving that motorcycle needed a SMACK DOWN.

So when that renegade motorcycle whipped by our little gang I lept the freak into action. And I chased that little bitch INTO GLENDALE BOULEVARD.

And yo, I was a fast little ho! My chola ass was pacing that latin king IN TRAFFIC real nice! Until I started hearing mom yelling STELLA STELLA STELLA STELLA. It was like a broken record but worse cuz it kept getting louder and more frantic and her fat ass was huffing down the sidewalk waking up all my homies on the block. mom made me look the fool, yo.

So i ran over to enjoli instead. And when mom finally got back to us she grabbed me really tight and said, STELLA in a way that was not very nice. And then she dragged me back to the house and said STELLA CRATE and dad was like, "What's going on I thought you were going to the park" and that didn't seem to make mom happy cuz she was like, "Well Stella's not going!" and she stomped away all stupid. And dad was like, "What happened?" and mom was like, "I don't want to talk about it!" and dad was like, "Why are you mad at me??" and mom was like, "I don't want to talk about it!!!" and I would have been happy to talk about how i had just saved mom and my moron brother plus enjoli and oscar and some other dog with a stupid name, but nobody asked me.