Where's my F-ing Chocolate?

Yo so this year I gave my mom and my dad Valentines Day cards. Dad's card said, "3 Years, dude! I love you now! Love, Stella." The "3 years" part refers to how back when I got my ass kicked by that gang banger german shepard, Dad was so happy I was okay he said I could get in as much trouble as I want for three whole years. Since then I have brought this shit up a lot, especially the other week when there was a raccoon and in order to scare it away I was forced to trample dad's garden. Thoroughly. I gave my mom a card with a cat on the front. I x-ed out the cat's eyes and wrote "I HATE CATS! Love, Stella." I think she liked it a lot. At least they were better than the cards Chester got for our parents. He gave mom a card that said "Go Dodgers!" and for dad he wrote "Happy Father's Day!" What I was a little annoyed about was that after all the hard work I put into my cards, all I got was a little rawhide/meat bone called a "dingo bite." Dingo this, bitches! To punish mom for her lame-ass Valentine's contribution I was a total ho at the park.