Why Chester is Retarded and Everyone Should Hate Him

So yesterday mom says, Hey stella, let's go Elysian and I was like "FUCK YES." But then mom was like, "Hey babe (that's what she calls dad when he isn't in trouble for something stupid), want to come with us?" and Dad was like, NO. But then mom gave him a look like, Do you want to rethink that and then he said OKAY. And I thought it was just gonna be me and mom and dad which would have been AWESOME but then dad goes, "Let's take Chester, too." And I started screaming really loud but mom didn't hear because she was bothering dad about needing to leave right away and it's gonna get dark and blah blah blah. So we go to Elysian and me and Chester went off-leash and I jumped like 50 feet in the air and ran up a cliff IMMEDIATELY. And idiot Chester followed me. But then when mom called I came and ran to her but Chester didn't. And mom and dad kept calling for him and he didn't come. And then they TURNED AROUND and walked back (which they have, like, NEVER had to do for me). And mom could see Chester up on the cliff eating something and she was really mad and telling him to come RIGHT NOW and dad was like, "This is why I don't come to the park!" and mom was like, "SHUT UP, josh (because he was in trouble)" but STILL that re-re Chester didn't come. And finally mom had to go up the cliff (seeing this made me sure I did not get my agility and grace from her because she has none). Then mom dragged Chester away from what he was eating. And what he was eating was SHIT. And this is why Chester is retarded and everyone should hate him.