My Mom is a Tyrant with Weapons of Mass Destruction

When mom first adopted me things were great. It was just me and her, chillin' all day, sleeping in our big bed. Just us. Not only that but I got to do whatever I wanted. Like, mom would give me food and I'd be like, MORE FOOD MOM and she'd be like, Okay! And we would go for walks and I would be like, STAY AWAY FROM ME AND MY MOM CRAZY GUY IN A METAL CHAIR and mom would be like, stella, calm down. which sounded to me like, good girl, i was very afraid but now im not because I love you. And then dad came along and that was cool too because then two people were doing whatever I wanted so it was like twice as much. (dad says he used to tell me to stop barking but it was like, "hey stella please come off the balcony" and i was like TALK TO MY MOM and then he was like, nevermind.) But paradise came to an end when mom and dad decided to take me to school. That's when I met Lezle. And Lezle was really scary and she said things like KNOCK IT OFF (to me) and SHOW HER WHO'S BOSS (to mom and dad). and I couldn't believe it that mom and dad listened to her instead of me!!! who the heck is this bitch? And the worst part of it is THE WATER BOTTLE. Everytime someone comes to the door or walks into the neighbors house and I politely ask WHO THE FUCK IS THERE GET AWAY FROM ME FUCK YOU! mom or dad grabs the water bottle and sprays me in the face. The main reason I am writing about this today is because I have spent most of the day WET and it's not fair because I am trying to protect my family (even that tard-face Chester) from evil things like neighbors and mailmen and squirrels.