Yo so everybody know Donald be a weird dude but homeboy has really ratcheted up da crazy in recent months.It all started in October when mom n the lump went to buy a video lump monitor in Long Beach. It was flippin' hot so mom left the windows in the bedroom open and some fans on. Me n the redheaded lowriders was chillin. I was nappin, drinkin a little agua, okay, yes I mighta even given my undercarriage a little lick. But Donald was actin crazy like how mom acts when dad say he gonna say he gonna take care of that thing he said he was gonna take care of and mom wanna know, when you gonna stop will do it and just done it.
Anyway Don'tald was gettin more n more frantic. I was like, Yo. What is going on with your ass (besides smelling delicious no wonder Chester eats it for breakfast lunch and afternoon snacks)? But Fat Baby didn't answer because he only talk "with his eyes" as loser face mom says.
Then he did it. That stumpy leg weirdo jumped out da window. Through the screen. To the pavement like 7 feet below or if you measuring in Donald feet like 346 feet.The neighbors found puppy bear and seen the fallen screen and seen the broken banana plant that silent-but-ugly landed on. They called mom but mom was like, I'm with the lump in Long Beach I suck so bad. They were like, it's ok, we like him eventhough he is an aloof weirdo.
Dad put back the screen and things went back to normal or I guess I should say the new normal in this post-lump life. And then he did it again. Same screen, same banana plant, same neighbors rescued his ginger wide load. And then mom n dad was like, hmmm, I guess we should close the window.It seemed like that did the trick. Man, mom n dad is so smart sometimes.
But then a few months later they left for Christmas in Connecticut or as I like to say, Lumpmas is the Dumpest.While mom n dad was across the country wearing coats like that's fun we was kickin it with our homegirl Cara who seem to tolerate my idiot brothers like dad has tolerated mom all these years. I was havin a bomb ass time but I guess Dumbald wasn't cuz when Cara was out one day, Two-inch-inseam jumped through the plywood section of the window by the air conditioner (yeah I know another question could be why mom n dad still had the a/c in December).
The neighbors brought put-the-stubby-in-stubborn inside and let him play with their dog and also gave him chicken because I guess you get rewarded for breaking through wood with your face.
Mom n dad took out the air conditioner and closed the window (I told you they was geniuses) but everytime we hangin outside Doucheald go to the neighbors door or just walk right in if he can push the door open with his frying pan face and they seem to love him despite his Significant flaws so I say next time he decide to throw himself out the window onto dad's broken banana plant I hope the neighbors think about a permanent Dopeald 'doption.
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| Hate to admit it, but that booty be like an apple cinnamon Glade plug-in. |
